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MY STORY

My personal journey with mental health began when I was 15 when I saw my first psychiatrist and was told, "there's nothing I can do for you; you'll just need to learn to cope." I was crushed because I knew something was wrong and didn't feel seen or heard. This was the beginning of a decades-long fight to find answers. 

Over the next 21 years, I saw four more psychiatrists and received different diagnoses; I would improve for a period, and then I felt like I was right back where I started and sometimes even worse. I can remember trying to play with my kids on the floor, crying so hard, and feeling so overwhelmed that I wondered if I could ever feel "normal". I kept faking it and trying to make it but never felt whole, happy, or healthy. 

On March 3, 2016, I was lying in bed without the energy to get up to get my kids ready and to school. I made a plan on how I was going to kill myself. I was preparing to write letters to my loved ones so they would know they were better off without me, but I loved them so much. While lying there, I heard a voice say, "I'm not done with you yet." I called that voice the Holy Spirit; others may call it the universe, source, or creator. All I knew was I had to live. I made calls and was miraculously able to see professionals within five days.

 

The sixth psychiatrist I saw gave me a diagnosis of bipolar 2. I was not happy with this diagnosis; I felt it was wrong because I didn't fit the picture I had of bipolar, but within a few weeks on medication, I felt better than I had in years. I finally felt seen and heard. I knew that I didn't have to live in that misery anymore and was ready to live and not just exist. For years I hid my struggles and pretended I was fine, now, I speak to anyone who will listen with the hope that no one else will feel as alone as I did.  

The Mental Society was born out of my unwavering belief that, while changing, there is a stigma around mental illness and we, as a global society, don’t talk enough about mental health. I have seen how mental health impacts every corner of our world; I want to learn more about how mental health influences our daily lives and open up candid conversations about how mental health influences each of us differently.

Where to Find Me
www.igniteyourbeacon.com

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